I had nothing else to do so I wrote this song for you
This is the song you're going to hear
This song is short on formality, it don't mess around with reality
And the meaning is quite clear

I know what this song is about
I know what this song is about
This song's about you

This is my favorite verse, I've written plenty worse
And now this verse if halfway done
I forget the line that comes next, da da da dada da
Let's repeat chorus number one

I know what this song is about
I know what this song is about
This song's about you

And now it's time for the melody to interact with the harmony
in a way that's beautiful and strange
the rhythm may not be rivoting, but the counterpoint will be pivoting
it's time for the verses to change

I think to end it here, would be a bit unclear
so I will finish this small part
thank you for listening, you've heard the entire thing
you can go back now to the start

I know what this song is about
I know what this song is about
This song's about you

Copyright © 2000, Manitoban Exploitation

When I was young and only 8,
I had a little sister and I thought it was great
I would teach her to be a Jedi
When I was young and only 8
My little sister would only play with Strawberry Shortcake
She would not be trained
She would not be trained
She would not be trained in the ways of the force

When I was young and only 10
I thought I'd try to train my little sister again
I would take her to meet Master Yoda
When I was young and only 10
My sister would flush my Star Wars men
No she could not be trained
She could not be trained
She could not be trained to use the potty

When I was young and only 15
I was the hairiest Wookie I had ever seen
And I thought my sister would make a good Ewok

When I was young and only 26
My sister would bake with Betty Crocker mix
Soon she would graduate high school
And soon she'll be trained
Soon she'll be trained
Soon she'll be trained, so go off to college

Soon I'll be young and turning 30
And my sister will be smart but she won't be dirty
She'll have a college diploma
Then she'll be trained
Then she'll be trained
Then she'll be trained, so do something useful

Soon she'll be trained
Soon she'll be trained
Soon she'll be trained in the ways of the Work Force

Copyright © 2000, Manitoban Exploitation

This is a song inspired by your love
This is a song inspired by your love

I hope you can tell just what I was thinking of
This is a song inspired by your love

Well, it's stronger than the love between a sister and a brother
Not your love for me, but your love for each other

This is a song inspired by your love
I hope you can tell just what I was thinking of

A love so deep I'm completely impressed
Everyone at your wedding stayed totally dressed

Yours is a love inspired by this song
Oh, wait, forget that verse; I think I sang something wrong

Well, we're everyone gives you all the joy we could wish ya
We're sending all our love to Brian and Patricia

This is a song inspired by your love
I hope you can tell what the hell I was thinking of

This is a song
This is a song
This is a song, or is it?
Oh yes it is.

Copyright © 2000, Manitoban Exploitation

The day I sat on my cell phone
and heard your voice in my pants
is the day I will always remember
when I learned to leave good things to chance

and when I picked up the receiver
and you gave me a startled "hello?"
how your voice was young and lovely
"Would you let me take you to the picture show?"

And now, it's been too long
so I have to start all over with this song

I met you at the dollar theatre
they have the best popcorm butter there
you wouldn't let me share in the thin mints
and I'm sorry about the gum stuck in your hair

And now it's time to congregate
For tonight we celebrate
the making of our concentrate
and new love everywhere

now I'm so lucky to know you
but luck is simply too weak a word
I thank all my service providers
that is was your voice that I heard

And now, it's been too long
since I sang about the reason for this song

For the day that I sat on my cell phone
and started my life of romance
you are number one on my speed dial
when I learned to leave good things to chance

what a way to live
what a way to live
finding all the good things in my pants!

Copyright © 2000, Manitoban Exploitation

Take me out to the ballpark
Take me out to the game
Take me out to the ballpark
and don't let me play with pain

Find me a rope and a river
Find me a tree and a sling
Find me a rope and a river
So baby we can swing

I want a contractual obligation with you, my dear
I want a contractual obligation with you

Take me down the the park
and bring your ball and chain
throw me into the river
and call me by my name

let me sink to the bottom
the water's not very deep
the fish will sing me a lullabye
and soothe me off to sleep

I want a contractual obligation with you, my dear
I want a contractual obligation with you

Take me down the the park
and bring your ball and chain
throw me into the river
and call me by my name

let me sink to the bottom
the water's not very deep
the fish will sing me a lullabye
and soothe me off to sleep

I want a contractual obligation with you, my dear
I want a contractual obligation with you
with you
with you
with you

Copyright © 2000, Manitoban Exploitation

Manitoba, My Manitoba!
You are large and never square.
You border North Dakota.
And some other state up there.

Manitoba, My Manitoba!
from Winnipeg to Churchhill.
You are rather freezing in summer.
And in winter you are colder still.

Manitoba, My Manitoba!
with lakes and rivers and trees!
You're the very best of all, Manitoba
If only marginally
You're the very best of all Manitobas
If only marginally

Copyright © 2000, Manitoban Exploitation

Well the mornings are so eerie and quiet
Everyday begins a new low
Cause you ran off with my Mr. Coffee
And you took my only stereo

And I don't know what I'll do without you
No, I don't know what I'll do at all
No, I don't know what I'll do without you
Baby, that's all

Well, I guess I could go to a movie
or collect fireflies in a jar
I could go to a ballgame or play hockey
or drink with the boys in a bar

And I don't know what I'll do without you
No, I don't know what I'll do at all
So why don't you call?

I could go on that trip to Europe
and run with the bulls in Spain
I could buy a new motorcycle
I could skydive over the Seine

And I don't know what I'll do without you
No, I don't know what I'll do at all
I'd get lost at the mall

Well I blame myself for my own mistakes
like introducing you to the guy that you now date
when you left me you hurt me so hard
I may not send you a Christmas card

Well, I guess I don't want to seem bitter
so I'll probably send you a card in time
but you can bet that it won't be a hallmark
just a generic one from the discount aisle

where the right-size envelope is missing
and the one I find is pink and too small
no, I don't know what I'll do without you
How can I stand tall?

Well, now I don't have to call you
Just to let you know where I am
I drink straight from the carton, and I leave the seat up
cause now I call myself a free man

But I don't know what I'll do without you
no, I don't know what I'll do at all
No, I don't know what I'll do without you
I'll have a ball

Copyright © 2000, Manitoban Exploitation

The hair in my shower drain is yours
I think you shed as much as a horse
I can't believe the things you do
You do
You do

And I love you
I do
I do

You are the knife wound in my back
You are the underwear in my crack
You are the itch that's under my skin
My dermatologist is worried again
Again
Again

For you my friend
My friend
My friend

I don't know what you do that makes me feel this way
You're like a tape worm deep inside you'll always stay

And I love you
I do
I do

Copyright © 2001, Manitoban Exploitation

We'd like to welcome our new Maxim overlords
We hope you will be kind to us
We're all excited about being with you
I cannot wait
Till this merger goes through

This is a song for our new Maxim overlords
You'll always be right home with us
I hope the layoffs are pretty slim
Don't tell Bob
It's probably him

Sending our love out to California
Sending our love out to you
Sending our love out to California
Send me a paycheck, too

Copyright © 2001, Manitoban Exploitation

Grep me, baby
Grep me, baby
Grep me, baby
Grep me, baby

I wanna sort you, girl
You know I uniq you so much
and when I ls you
and feel you touch

Don't you semicolon?
Semicolon after you.
When I need some lp
You know I lpq.

Grep me, baby
Grep me, baby
Grep me, baby
Grep me, baby

I heard what you sed
You make me awk-ward
Is there an echo here, man?
I'm xauth'ed, baby

Baby, don't dump core
I sure do hash you girl
Do you need more or less
Girl, you are my perl.

Grep me, baby.
Ooh, grep me, baby.
I wanna finger you.
I wanna telnet to you.
I want to ping you, girl.
I want to ping you, girl.
I'm just a man.

A catman.

Copyright © 2001, Manitoban Exploitation