The Davebrand Monthly Visitor

Archive for July, 2004

A Double Helping of Sweat Pie

Sunday, July 11th, 2004

I got back from my rendezvous with the southern central US tonight, and I have these observations to pass on:

I nearly ran into every sliding glass door that I came across. People must walk a lot slower in Kentucky and West Virigina than they do in Austin.
Someone in Oklahoma has the unfortunate nickname “Sweetie Pie”, which translated to “SWETPIE” on their license plate.
Huckleberry’s Catfish Buffett in Searcy, Arkansas, is one place that deserves mention in the Food Destination Hall O’ Fame. Every car in town was there, and I knew it had to be good. In fact, I had been thinking about catfish for the last three hundred miles or so, and I was ready to chow down. It did not disappoint. People in Searcy are notoriously quiet, but I think that’s because they’re too busy stuffing themselves with fried okra, corn, and green beans. I did not try the desserts.
The cashier at Barnes and Noble in Norman, Oklahoma will let you use her employee discount card if you sweet talk her.
The Green River in Mammoth Caves National Park is pretty amazing, with high limestone cliffs (with caves) around every bend. When you rent your canoes, tell the guy at the Wayfarer B&B that you want to borrow his fishing tackle, since you don’t need a license to fish in the park. There will be lots of turtles, deer, and wood ducks, but NO poisonous snakes.
Golgotha Fun Park in Cave City, KY is sadly closed. The legendary shaded Biblical mini-golf is no more.
The Santa Claus Jungle Racer Holiday Fun Park in Santa Claus, Indiana is open year round.
Pirtle Winery in Weston, Missouri makes a fine Sparkling Mead, certainly the finest you’ll ever try.
If you’re playing the roulette wheel at the Isle of Capri in Boonville, Missouri, bet 21.
Danny C. and I walked/ambled/hiked the rails-to-trails trail in North Bend State Park in West Virginia, which is awesome, but West Virginia sushi is nothing less than extremely disappointing. I’m not sure why I even tried.
I performed the wedding ceremony for my friends Jess and Matt in Missouri, and even with all the pre-wedding nervousness, excitement, and

anxiety (not to mention a soiled, torn wedding gown), the ceremony itself went extremely great. Since it was July 4, I threw in a bit about the joining of a new union (or Declaration of Codependence) but changed “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” to “love, loyalty, and the happiness of the pursuit.” And since we were on the banks of the Missouri River, I added how Jess and Matt were like Lewis and Clark — they travelled far and explored much, not always knowing where they were going, but when they got there, it was more amazing and wonderous than either could have imagined. And even though each of them are accomplished in their own right, they were never stronger apart then they were together. We also had fireworks. Reportedly, they’re still married, so I must have done something right.

Paris, TN, is reported to have a replica of the Eiffel Tower, but I couldn’t find it.
Enchilada’s is still the best tex-mex in the world. Thanks go to my dad for a fine lunch.
Last but not least, I tied for second in the mini-golf tounament (out of 4). Sadly, there were no “Jonah and the Whales” or “Jesus in the Manger” games at this course. There was a bowling ball on a chain, which I haven’t yet found in the Bible. If anyone knows the scriptures better than I, please let me know! (Maybe Ephesians?)