Merry Christmas from Oozy Oozborne!
 | I’ll never forget the first day we met, when you pulled me out of Town Lake and I oozed on you for the very first time. |
| I really enjoy sitting on the couch with you watching tv… |  |
 | …or terrorizing the town with our crazy antics. |
| Here I am, hard at work in my office. |  |
 | Thanks for introducing me to your friends… |
| Now meet mine! Merry Christmas, Happy Chewbacca 2003!!
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My Bowling Ball Has Been Named!
The names are Lefty, Lumpy, and Harry.
Yes, I have three!
Congratulations to Coop for the winning names.
The Perfect Christmas Gift
My idea for the perfect Christmas gift is to give adult diapers.
Because think about it — it’s not the kind of thing you would buy for yourself, but aren’t you glad that you have them when you need them?
Also, I thought of a new use for them — say it’s cold, you’re in bed, you don’t want to get up to go to the toilet because you know that if you do, you’ll lose all of the heat in the bed — man, wouldn’t it be great if you were wearing your adult diaper? You could wee, and be back in sleep without ever getting cold!
In fact, when you think about it, aren’t we all just slaves of the toilet industry? Haven’t we all been suckered into this world of continence and control, when we could be free? Why should our bladders determine our schedules? Why shouldn’t we be free to do what we want when we want, and worry about heading off to the potty later.
I mean, think of all the tv shows you’ve missed because you went to the toilet during the commercial break, and didn’t get back in time!! Think of all the times you’ve been driving in your car, looking for a place to stop, wasting precious hours of your life! Why?? I’ll tell you why! Because the damn potty lobby controls Congress, that’s why!
Because what makes this country so great is freedom, and that includes urinary freedom, and I say, let’s make this country great again! Let’s free our bladders!! Let’s pee freely and proudly, when we want, and how we want! Peedom is freedom!!
What do you say, people?? Are you with me?? People?? People?? Hello???
