Brian wrote me earlier today to suggest that we go see Synecdoche, New York at the Paramount Theater in downtown Austin. It’s showing as part of the Austin Film Festival, and Charlie Kaufman would be there for a brief Q&A after the movie.

We got there early enough to get in and have a nice front seat in the balcony. Lots of leg room! The theater is beautiful inside. It’s a turn-of-the-other century theater. Chandeliers and art deco decorations everywhere. The lights got dark, and then the movie started!

At the end of the movie, a crew hand brought out three chairs. Then, he came back out and removed one of the chairs! Charlie Kaufman: The Man and then Charlie Kaufman: The Interviewer came out and answered questions.

Then Brian and I left. I was hungry, so I went home and made a baked potato with salsa and a little not-butter. Then I wrote this movie review while watching the Daily Show. The review was well received, with a little chuckle from a friend and many, many confused remarks on the comments section. I was a little dismayed by the nature of the comments which questioned whether I really saw the movie I thought I saw and whether I really saw the theater I thought I theatered.

The next day, I woke up to exercise. Three months later, I went to Nicaragua. I got a minor cold at one point, and I stubbed my toe.

In April of 2009 I went to Guatemala to learn Spanish. I met a beautiful girl, Esmeralda, and we had a baby named Avacado. She wasn’t able to get a green card, and I didn’t want to commit to marriage. She died in a plane crash in 2043. Avacado became a fishmonger in Veracruz.

I lost a bit of weight and considered getting surgery before I started my PhD in Geography at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver. I met a beautiful Canadian woman, Amy, and we dated for four years before she left with my advisor, Gregor Ripvein.

Thinking about space and time, I started writing a review about this review. In it, I changed the names of the writer and the friend I went to see the movie with. My friend then decided to write a review of the review I was writing, and I switched places (and gender) with the person who was imitating my character in the review that my friend wrote about this review.

Scene.

Thanks to Tim League and Harry Knowles, the Alamo Drafthouse held a preview of Tropic Thunder, Ben Stiller’s new movie with Robert Downey, Jr and Jack Black. Nick Nolte and Tom Cruise steal the show.

Funny. I won’t say much about the movie, which is riotous, and basically follows the filming of a big-budget mega-action film gone awry. The good part was that it was free. Each person got a free Booty Sweat drink (it’s in the movie). And a line of people went through ‘the Shit’, a pelting from paint guns, including an automatic fired by Mr. Knowles.

Enjoy the film. It opens in two weeks.

Master Pancake Theater manages another hilarious sendup of James Bond’s best film, Goldfinger. And yes, there are plenty of horrible puns on Bondgirl Galore. (”Mounds O’ Snatch? Cornicopia of Clitoris? Pounds of Putang?”) The silliness abruptly stops at the “Stop the Movie” segment, when the gang tries a live comedy skit that almost always falls flat. But up until that point, expect to laugh until it hurts, and then laugh some more.

Oh, hello there! I didn’t see you watching me. Last night, at the Alamo Ritz, I went to see Master Pancake’s sendup of ET.

Funny stuff, as always. It’s particularly funny if you remember Schneider from “One Day at a Time”. In any case, go see the Scrotum That Has the Same Story As Jesus!

Movie Review: Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Texas Chanisaw Massacre

Director: Marcus Nispel
Starring: Jessica Biel, Eric Balfour, >R. Lee Ermey
$10. Seen at the Alamo Drafthouse’s Rolling Roadshow at the Travis State School. R. Lee Ervey and producers in attendance.

September 28, 2003 –

Not having seen the original, I can’t compare this film with that one. But on it’s own merits, it’s not a great film, and although it does have some suspenseful moments and a quality
amount of gore, I can’t say it was terribly frightening.

Moreover, it seemed like a great excuse to get Jessica Biel’s white t-shirt wet alot. I don’t know where all the water came from — sprinklers, rain, puddles of blood (that mysterious

ly wash away)… but hey, if that’s your thing, then you’ll enjoy that.

My biggest complaint, however, is with the direction. It was jumpy, and generally not well-paced. There are quite a few times when you can’t tell what’s going on. The mood switches fr
om darkly gothic to bright and sunny without much in between, which leads to a lack of continuity.

At the screening, which the amazing Alamo Drafthouse held at the abandoned Travis State School (where part of the film was shot) was a great se
tup. On top of a hill overlooking Austin, which a soft breeze and plenty of mosquitos, R. Lee Ermey, best known from his role as the t
ough-but-unlovable drill sergeant in Full Metal Jacket, came and gave us a raunchy, “salty” version of the making of that film and qu
ite a few others. Afterwards, the Frighteners was shown.

© 2003, DaveBrand Private Partnerships.